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Meaning of Aging in a Time of Crisis

 

“I think what I’ve learned is that you really don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re challenged with situations where you really have to figure out what your strength is and you have to figure out how you are going cope. And so you don’t know, I think, until you’re really challenged. So even though life has been challenging, it’s also provided me with lots of new learning, wisdom, understanding, coping mechanisms, so there are blessings that go with the burdens.”–Bill, 82


The above quote illustrates the significance and experience of resilience among older adults. It exemplifies the key themes or aspects of resilience, specifically 1) a sense of purpose, 2) independence, 3) confidence, 4) continuous learning, and 5) connection to family. For me, the quote presents a discernible contrast to the lingering ageism that is manifest in many western cultures and often presents as a set of core societal values and belief systems.

Ageism is a form of prejudice and discrimination often experienced by older adults who are presumed to have diminished mental, physical, psychological, and functional abilities (Bennett & Gaines, 2010). In the U.S., ageism has a deep influence on attitudes, social behaviors, cultural values, and belief systems (Cable-Williams & Wilson, 2014; Chonody & Teater, 2016). Stereotype embodiment theory posits that chronic lifetime exposure to ageism leads to an internalization of ageist beliefs that may result in unconscious endorsement of negative age stereotypes (Monahan, Macdonald, Apriceno, & Levy, 2020).

On the other hand, the concept of resilience promotes a different perspective on the aging process, whereby older adults are viewed as enjoying and striving during their later years rather than just surviving and “getting by.”

A sense of purpose

Viktor Frankl (1958) advanced the importance of purpose and its relationship to both the capacity to survive as well as to thrive to an entire post-WWll generation. Pertaining specifically to aging, a sense of purpose, which encompasses diverse elements, such as faith, social engagement, work, etc., reflects the variety in people’s lived experiences. A theme that emerged during our conversations with older people was the importance of finding meaning in the life. At times, it is necessary to “find” that meaning. A sense of purpose can be as basic as committing to living life to watch the next generation reach important milestones, like birth, graduation, or marriage. It can also be found in a person’s spirituality or faith, which can be a driving force for many older adults.

Independence

The sense of independence comprises not only confidence, but primarily the willingness to make decisions that show the ability to think for oneself and follow one’s own voice, to be separate from what others in their larger worlds, i.e., family, culture, etc., might be saying or doing. This spirit is demonstrated at the junctures of adulthood and older adulthood.

SO20-F2 Meaning Of Aging - womanConfidence

Confidence is a quality cited in the psychological construct of resilience (Windle, Markland, & Wood, 2008). Among older adults, there is a sense of knowing who one is, whether it is making dreams happen, or doing something the right way and the best way one knows how. Confidence in oneself as an older adult is not only to value the kind of person one is, but also to recognize the kind of person one is with acceptance, some bravado, and pride.

Confidence mirrors the oft-repeated trait of self-efficacy cited in the literature on resilience (Windle, Markland, & Wood, 2008). The independent aspect within the attribute of confidence mirrors the reflection of an individual seeing oneself as a separate individual able to separate from family and/or as a person who is determined to act on values that are an essential part of one’s personhood. Included in confidence is being pleased with oneself and one’s decisions, as well as a belief in the importance of being present with others, and a strong sense of being active in making one’s way.

Continuous learning

Learning takes many forms, and it is noteworthy that learning is perceived as multi-faceted by older adults. Valuing learning is an element of resilience and contributes to the ability to be adaptable to changing circumstances. Learning can be pragmatic, like, “doing what you gotta do” or purposefully choosing to let go of all the regrets from the past. Learning can be an appreciation of lessons learned in one’s younger days, as well as an appreciation of life’s challenges and the opportunity challenges afford for “lots of new learning.”

Connecting to family

Erik Erikson is repeatedly cited for describing the psychosocial stage of generativity vs. despair (Erikson, 1968). Older adults are portrayed as reaching a time in which leaving a legacy becomes an essential part of the aging process. Relationships with family, ties to children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren have the capacity to enrich people’s lives as they age, as do relationships with spouses and siblings.

Feeling connected to family can also be closely connected to the theme of purpose.  Having and raising a family that includes an ongoing connection to and with the next generation is deeply satisfying as a source of pride—pride in the kind of people children have become and pride in having contributed to the process, a purpose fulfilled. The bonus is being loved. Having an active and positive family life supports the quality of resilience.

Froma Walsh, well known for her work in family resilience (2003), defines resilience as “the ability to withstand and rebound from disruptive life challenges” (p. 399). In addition, she describes “struggles and resources” that allow individuals and families “to respond successfully to stressful crises and persistent challenges, and to recover and grow from those experiences” (p. 399). Walsh coined the phrase “To struggle well” that reflects the resilient individual, which begs the question: how does one define “well”?

The largest deficit facing our aging population may very well be the widely held beliefs that characterize aging as a problem to be solved or a deficit to be ameliorated. There has been an existential call to reckon with diminishing vim and vigor as we age. Such calls are comprised of laments, wisdom, serenity, bitterness, irony, rage, defiance, and transcendence. In other words, a full range of human emotion. To be alive is to have some measure of resilience (Wagnild & Collins, 2009). Resilience endures throughout the human lifespan, and it just may be the challenges in living life that become key in determining its depth (Wagnild & Collins, 2009).

Throughout most of the world, life expectancy is increasing, as well as the percentage of people who are over 65 years of age. By one estimate, there will be 1.6 billion people aged 65 or older by 2050 (National Institutes of Health, 2016; World Health Organization, 2018). Consequently, it becomes imperative that, as a society, as couple and family therapists, and as individuals, we continue to examine our attitudes, perceptions, and biases towards older adults. Ageism does not only manifest in negative attitudes and perceptions, but can manifest itself in seemingly positive helping behaviors towards older adults. For example, accommodations provided to the elderly during the pandemic and related media coverage “contributed to the negative stereotype that portrays all older adults as dependent, frail, sickly, weak or a burden to society” (Monahan, 2020, p. 7). Acknowledging both the challenges and resilience that becomes manifest in people as they age might provide a more compassioned and productive framework to appreciate the depth and complexity of the aging experience for now and future generations.

There has been an existential call to reckon with diminishing vim and vigor as we age. 

Yulia Watters

Yulia Watters, PhD, is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Florida. She is the director of curriculum development for the School of Social and Behavioral Sciences at Northcentral University. She has a private practice in South Florida primarily serving the Russian-speaking population. Watters is a Clinical Fellow of AAMFT and an AAMFT Approved Supervisor. She is also a board-certified TeleMental Health Provider.


REFERENCES

Bennett, T., & Gaines, J. (2010). Believing what you hear: The impact of aging stereotypes upon the old. Educational Gerontology, 36(5), 435-445. doi:10.1080/03601270903212336

Cable-Williams, B., & Wilson, D. (2014). Awareness of impending death for residents of long-term care facilities. International Journal of Older People Nursing, 9(2), 169-179.

Chonody, J. M., & Teater, B. (2016). Why do I dread looking old? A test of social identity theory, terror management theory, and the double standard of aging. Journal of Women & Aging, 28(2), 112-126.

Erikson, E. H. (1968). Identity, youth and crisis. New York: W.W. Norton.

Frankl, V. E. (1958). Man’s search for meaning. Boston: Beacon.

Monahan, C., Macdonald, J., Apriceno, M., & Levi, S. (2020). COVID-19 and ageism: How positive and negative responses impact older adults and society. American Psychologist. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

National Institutes of Health. (2016, March 28). World’s older population grows dramatically. Retrieved from https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/worlds-older-population-grows-dramatically

Wagnild, G. M. & Collins, J. A. (2009). Assessing resilience. Journal of Psychosocial Nursing & Mental Health Services, 47(12), 28-34.

Walsh, F. (2003). Clinical views of family normality, health, and dysfunction: From deficit to strengths perspective. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Normal family processes: Growing diversity and complexity (pp. 27-57). New York: The Guilford Press.

Windle, G., Markland, D. A., Wood, R. T. (2008). Examination of a theoretical model of psychological resilience in older age. Aging and Mental Health, 12(3), 285-292. doi:10.1080/13607860802120763

World Health Organization. (2018). Noncommunicable diseases. Retrieved from http://www.who.int/en/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/noncommunicable-diseases

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