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Perimenopause and Early Trauma: A Systemic Approach for MFTs

 

Perimenopause, the transitional phase before menopause, brings hormonal shifts that manifest as hot flashes, mood swings, and sleep disturbances, impacting not just the individual but their entire family system (Santoro, 2016). Recent research reveals that early trauma, such as childhood abuse or adversity, intensifies perimenopause symptoms, creating unique challenges for families (Carson et al., 2022; Thurston, 2025).

Marriage and family therapists (MFTs), with their systemic lens, are uniquely equipped to address these interconnected biological, psychological, and relational dynamics. This article explores how early trauma exacerbates perimenopause symptoms and how MFTs can support families through this complex transition.

Perimenopause and trauma’s lasting impact

Perimenopause typically begins in a woman’s 40s, though it can start earlier due to a woman’s unique physical constitution, surgeries, medications, or cancer treatment (Santoro, 2016). Symptoms like irritability, insomnia, and vasomotor issues (hot flashes, night sweats) disrupt family dynamics, straining communication and roles. A partner may misinterpret emotional volatility as rejection, while children may struggle with a parent’s withdrawal.

Trauma can impact the menopause transition. Overwhelming experiences like physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, neglect, or adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) such as parental loss or domestic violence disrupt one’s sense of safety and rewire the brain and body (van der Kolk, 2015). Early trauma alters the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to chronic stress responses like hypervigilance or emotional dysregulation that persist into adulthood (Hendrickson et al., 2023). During perimenopause, these changes interact with hormonal fluctuations, amplifying symptoms. Women with childhood abuse histories report more severe hot flashes, poorer sleep, and reduced well-being 15-20 years later (Carson et al., 2022). Trauma, particularly sexual violence, increases symptom burden and accelerates cardiovascular and brain aging (Thurston, 2025). A systematic review highlights a bidirectional relationship between trauma-related psychopathology and reproductive aging, suggesting shared neuroendocrine mechanisms (Arnold et al., 2024). Perimenopausal women, especially in Black/African American communities, show higher PTSD and depression symptoms, necessitating culturally responsive care (Correa et al., 2024). Systemically, trauma fuels family conflict, withdrawal, or miscommunication, which perimenopause intensifies, challenging relational bonds.

MFTs’ unique qualifications

MFTs, as systemic therapists, are distinctly positioned to address perimenopause’s relational impact, especially when compounded by trauma. Unlike other mental health professionals who may prioritize individual symptom relief, the MFT’s systemic lens allows therapists to invite family systems into the therapeutic process, enabling them to educate clients and their families on compassionate communication to navigate the transition with compassion and grace (Lebow et al., 2012). Research supports the efficacy of systemic therapy in improving family functioning during stress-related transitions, outperforming individual-focused approaches (Lebow et al., 2012).

MFTs adapt CBT systemically by involving family members in supporting these strategies, enhancing relational outcomes.

MFTs can apply trauma-informed models like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), which fosters emotional attunement and repairs attachment injuries worsened by trauma and perimenopause (Krafft & Wren, 2023). Additionally, MFTs can integrate Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help individuals manage trauma-related symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, or negative thought patterns that disrupt family interactions (Fiorillo et al., 2022; Green et al., 2019). CBT’s structured techniques, such as cognitive restructuring and relaxation training, reduce perimenopausal anxiety and sleep issues, enabling clients to engage more fully in family therapy (Fiorillo et al., 2022). MFTs adapt CBT systemically by involving family members in supporting these strategies, enhancing relational outcomes. For instance, MFTs can assist couples by normalizing the effects of the menopause transition and targeting each partner’s individual reactions to changes, such as trauma-exacerbated sexual discomfort or low libido (Mann et al., 2025). These approaches align with MFTs’ expertise in fostering resilience across diverse families.

Clinical strategies for MFTs

MFTs can employ these trauma-informed, systemic strategies to support families:

  1. Trauma-Informed Psychoeducation: Educate families on trauma’s lasting effects, including HPA axis dysregulation and its role in intensifying perimenopause symptoms, normalizing experiences and reducing blame (Thurston, 2025; van der Kolk, 2015).
  2. Reframing Family Dynamics: Guide families to view perimenopause as a shared transition, renegotiating roles to ease trauma-related fatigue or irritability.
  3. Enhancing Systemic Communication: Use circular questioning to explore each member’s perspective, promoting collaboration when trauma resurfaces emotionally.
  4. Addressing Trauma and Intimacy: Facilitate discussions on sexual changes, more pronounced in trauma survivors (Carson et al., 2022). EFT rebuilds closeness, while CBT’s cognitive restructuring reduces anxiety affecting intimacy (Krafft & Wren, 2023; Fiorillo et al., 2022).
  5. Intergenerational Healing: Address perimenopause’s overlap with other transitions (e.g., adolescent children, aging parents), considering trauma’s multigenerational effects.

Case example

Mary, 46, sought therapy with her partner, Frank, and teenage son, Alex, amid rising tension. Mary’s perimenopausal insomnia, anxiety, and hot flashes, worsened by childhood sexual abuse, may have triggered hypervigilance and withdrawal. The MFT educated the family on trauma’s impact, explaining how early abuse disrupts stress responses, intensifying perimenopause (van der Kolk, 2015). EFT rebuilt trust and intimacy between Mary and Frank (Krafft & Wren, 2023), while CBT techniques, including cognitive restructuring and relaxation training, helped Mary manage anxiety and sleep issues, enhancing her engagement in family sessions (Fiorillo et al., 2022). Circular questioning helped Alex voice confusion over Mary’s irritability, fostering open communication and shared responsibilities. This systemic approach reduced conflict and strengthened resilience.

Research supports systemic approaches for health-related transitions, reinforcing MFTs’ value.

Advocacy and broader implications

MFTs can advocate for trauma-informed menopause care by publishing research and presenting at conferences, emphasizing their unique relational expertise (Shields et al., 2020). They can push for systemic therapy in U.S. women’s health initiatives, highlighting its cost-effectiveness for families navigating perimenopause and trauma. Research supports systemic approaches for health-related transitions, reinforcing MFTs’ value (Winston-Lindeboom et al., 2025).

Conclusion

Perimenopause, intensified by early trauma, profoundly challenges family systems. MFTs’ systemic expertise, blending trauma education, EFT, and CBT, turns this transition into a chance for healing and stronger bonds. By educating themselves about the menopause transition and promoting their unique role, MFTs reinforce their position as leaders in tackling perimenopause’s complex mix of biology, trauma, and relationships.

Holly.Hanley

Holly Hanley, DBH, LMFT, is a Professional Member of AAMFT holding the Clinical Fellow designation and the founder of Presently Processing, a private practice in New York dedicated to compassionate, systemic therapy for couples, families, and individuals. With 10+ years of experience, Dr. Hanley specializes in holistic care, meeting every client where they are and developing individualized therapy. email: presentlyprocessing@gmail.com

Arnold, A. R., Prochaska, T., Fickenwirth, M., Powers, A., Smith, A. K., Chahine, E. B., Stevens, J. S., & Michopoulos, V. (2024). A systematic review on the bidirectional relationship between trauma-related psychopathology and reproductive aging. Journal of Mood and Anxiety Disorders. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jmood.2024.100074

Carson, M., Thurston, R. C., & Bromberger, J. (2022). Past traumas may worsen menopausal symptoms and wellbeing at midlife. Menopause, 29(10), 1123–1130. https://doi.org/10.1097/GME.0000000000002034

Correa, K. A., Michopoulos, V., Stevens, J. S., & Harnett, N. G. (2024). Association between perimenopausal age and greater posttraumatic stress disorder and depression symptoms in trauma-exposed women. Journal of Trauma Stress, 37(5), 746–753. https://doi.org/10.1002/jts.23081

Fiorillo, A., Carpiniello, B., De Giorgio, G., Mancuso, E., Mule, S., Ribolsi, M., Sampogna, G., & Sani, G. (2022). Menopause and mental health: A clinical review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 13, 1039432. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.1039432

Green, S. M., Donegan, E., Frey, B. N., Fedock, G., Kiliç, Z., Koelmel, E. S., … & McBride, D. L. (2019). Cognitive behavior therapy for menopausal symptoms (CBT-Meno): A randomized controlled trial. Menopause, 26(9), 972-980. https://doi.org/10.1097/GME.0000000000001368

Hendrickson, C. M., Neylan, T. C., Na, B., Regan, M., Zhang, Q., & Cohen, B. E. (2023). Association between perimenopausal age and greater posttraumatic stress disorder and depression symptoms in trauma-exposed women. Menopause, 30(10), 1038-1045. https://doi.org/10.1097/GME.0000000000002243

Krafft, J. M., & Wren, A. (2023). Emotionally focused therapy: A culturally sensitive approach for couples. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 22(4), 315-333. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2023.2223303

Lebow, J. L., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145-168. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2011.00249.x

Mann, C., Olewe-Richards, S., & Hinsliff-Smith, K. (2025). Domestic abuse survivors accessing support during peri-menopause: Qualitative focus groups with women. BJGP Open. https://doi.org/10.3399/BJGPO.2025.0044

Santoro, N. (2016). Perimenopause: From research to practice. Journal of Women’s Health, 25(4), 332-339. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2015.5552

Shields, C. G., Finley, M. A., & Chawla, N. (2020). Family therapy and health: A systemic perspective. Family Process, 59(3), 873-888. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12567

Thurston, R. C. (2025). How can trauma affect the menopausal transition? The American Journal of Managed Care. https://www.ajmc.com/view/how-can-trauma-affect-the-menopausal-transition-

van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.

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