PERSPECTIVES

Understanding the Effects of Social Media on the Relationship Between Parents and Adolescents

 

Social media, accessed through electronic devices, has been positively correlated with depression and anxiety (Lin et al., 2016; Kross et al., 2013). According to the American Psychological Association (APA), about one-fifth of Americans see digital influences of social media as a source of stress, as they have become a vital component of daily functioning (APA, 2017).


In the same findings, the APA found parents reported feeling disconnected from their families when social media was present in gatherings and expressed concerns about its effects on their children’s mental and physical health. These concerns are warranted. Although social media can assist teens in gaining independence and connecting with peers and has allowed all members of the family to stay connected, it can also negatively impact activity (physical health), social interaction (isolation and family discord), and self-esteem (cyberbullying) (Heimlich, 2011; Penn State University, 2021; Primack et al., 2017).

With the growing rise of social media and its ability to serve as a positive and negative factor of functioning, researchers recommend a balanced usage (Sharma & Palanichamy, 2018). Current research has shown the possible use of behavioral interventions for combating these social-tech-related addictions, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), family therapy, and practicing abstinence, modeling proper social media use, and establishing boundaries (Sharma & Palanichamy, 2018; Young, 1999; American Academy of Pediatrics, 2016). These resources are a good start in addressing this rising issue; however, they focus on individual relationships with social media and not on how its rise has infiltrated the parent-teen relationship.

Biological considerations

Sleep is the main biological domain affected by social media among teens. Currently, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine (AASM) and the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recommend that teenagers ages 13-18 should sleep 8-10 hours to promote optimal health (Paruthi et al., 2016; CDC, 2020). It was found that “sleeping the number of recommended hours on a regular basis is associated with better health outcomes including: improved attention, behavior, learning, memory, emotional regulation, quality of life, and mental and physical health…Insufficient sleep also increases the risk of accidents, injuries, hypertension, obesity, diabetes, and depression” (Paruthi et al., 2016). However, though these recommendations exist, they are not readily followed or enforced for the betterment of teens (Wheaton, Jones, Cooper, & Croft, 2018).

The prominence of lack of sleep stemming from social media use can affect the teen-parent dyad by causing parents to worry about their children and take further action in the lives of their adolescents. This occurs because parents become worried about the well-being of their children as the lack of sleep can lead to a decrease in school performance, negative fluctuations in mood, and weight increase (Curcio, Ferrara, & De Gennaro, 2006; Meldrum & Restivo, 2014; Cespedes Feliciano et al., 2018). Researchers have urged parents to be the first responders in recognizing sleep disturbance in their teens and to have discussions with their youth regarding proper sleep hygiene (Coyne et al., 2017; Univeristy of California-Los Angeles, 2021). However, parents should not “helicopter” their teens, to constantly micromanage and regulate the lives of their children. These reactions can lead to discord in the teen-parent relationship due to teens feeling burdened by their parents’ involvement (Kimball, 2018). Researchers and institutions recommend that parents allow input from their teens to help establish mutual trust and boundaries (Lanigan, 2009; American Academy of Pediatrics, 2016; Jacobson, 2021).

The biological underpinnings of social media addiction involve the release of neurotransmitters associated with happiness and trust, oxytocin and dopamine.

Though there has been a lack of evidence on how social media affects the biology of parents when interacting with their teens, conjectures can be made. As teens use their social networks for connection and entertainment into late hours of the night, parents may lose sleep worrying about with whom or what their teen may be interacting. When sleep is lost, irritability and hyper-vigilance may set in for parents trying to address concerns with their youth. As a result, parents can overreact to their teens’ oppositions, questions, or even body language, which can hinder their relationship.

The biological underpinnings of social media addiction involve the release of neurotransmitters associated with happiness and trust, oxytocin and dopamine. As individuals engage in social media use, these chemicals are released in the same manner one would experience with in-person interactions (Penenberg, 2010; Krach, Paulus, Bodden, & Kircher, 2010; Macit, Macit, & Güngör, 2018). Left unchecked, this can result in a “hijacking” of the brain, where persons crave their happiness source to the point where it can impair their day-to-day functioning (Robinson & Berridge, 2001; Bechara, 2005; He, Turel, & Bechara, 2017; Cleveland Clinic, 2019a). This applies to parents and teens as they use social media to simply post, express, interact, or divert their thoughts (Waterloo, Baumgartner, Peter, & Valkenburg, 2018).

The release of these neurotransmitters can lead to an physiological event known as flooding—the body’s physiological response to stressful situations where muscles tense and a release of cortisol and adrenaline prepare the body for the “attack” at hand (Harvard Medical School, 2011; Shaw et al., 2018). The body becomes focused on evading the presenting issue that the mind has difficulty processing and communication and intentions may be misunderstood (Gottman, 1993; Gottman & Silver, 1999; Manes, 2013; Brittle, 2015; Hooper, Spann, McCray, & Kimberly, 2017; Masters in Communication.org, 2019). Scholars recommend that when first recognizing signs of flooding (e.g., feeling unheard, raising voice, feeling defensive, constantly interrupting one another, racing heart) to initiate a self-soothing process by calling for a minimum of a 20-minute time-out and for both individuals to engage in a relaxing and or distracting activity (Manes, 2013; Rusnak, 2021). Following the break, conversations can be carried on with flooding having been reduced or extinguished. However, in situations where either parents or teens are still flooded, the time-out needs to be extended as needed.

Conversations between parents and teens will not always lead to conflict. If parents open lines of communication for trust and reassure teens of support, these conversations can benefit the parent-teen dyad by making opportunities for bonding (Cleveland Clinic, 2019b; McCubbin, Smith, Schiller, Adler, & Martie, 2020). Clinicians also recommend various approaches to address concerns. Some remedies reserved for couple conflict, but are applicable for parents and teens, include using “I” statements when expressing need, using a soft tone, and acknowledging the other’s views (Feuerman, 2017; Benson, 2017). These approaches may set the stage for a calmer discussion between parents and teens. Additional repair attempts to resolve conflict may include apologizing for hurting the other’s feelings, expressing the other’s love language (e.g., giving a hug, offering a gift, saying “I love you”), and moving past the “hurt” of the argument (e.g., being appropriately humorous about what took place and not holding a grudge) (Feuerman, 2017; Khalaf & Khalaf, 2017).

Psychological considerations

Research around social media has clarified that its use as a form of communication is associated with a lack of family communication, a decline in one’s social circle, and an increase in depression and loneliness, by showing that access to these outlets for expression has been linked to lower self-esteem, less life satisfaction, depression, and anxiety in both teens and adults (Kraut et al., 1998; Jelenchick, Eickhoff, & Moreno, 2013; Pantic, 2014; Kross et al., 2013; Wang, Yang, & Haigh, 2017). How social media affects one’s self-esteem and satisfaction can be explained by viewing photos on one’s social media page. For example, Wang et al. (2017) conducted a study to examine the psychological effects of posting and viewing selfies, a self-portrait one takes with a device, and groupies, self-portraits that include two or more individuals, on social media. Investigators found that frequent selfie viewing behavior led to a decrease in both self-esteem and life satisfaction where groupie viewing behavior led to increased self-esteem and life satisfaction. These outcomes are a result of what is known as the social comparison theory, the concept that people compare themselves with peers to measure their ability and success (Festinger, 1954).

Underlying mechanisms of social comparison include concepts of self-enhancement, maintenance of a positive self-look, and competition that can affect adolescent aged individuals (Eyal & Te’eni-Harari, 2013; Garcia, Tor, & Gonzalez, 2006). Research has shown that social media can attribute to a negative comparison of these concepts, which allows for negative effects on adolescent psychological well-being, specifically, issues with depression and anxiety (de Vries & Kühne, 2015; Lewallen & Behm-Morawitz, 2016; McLean, Paxton, Wertheim, & Masters, 2015; APA, 2017; Miller, 2020). In 2017, the APA studied the divide social media causes in family relationships. They found that “constant checkers,” those who check their social networking platforms and who felt attached to their social media and related platform (eight-tenths of Americans), had higher levels of stress, felt disconnected from family (43% of “checkers”), felt disconnected (one-third of checkers), and were less likely to meet with friends or family in person. These findings have been further supported by other studies  (Lin et al., 2016; Primack et al., 2017). Research supports that these outcomes are a result of upbringing in the home, specifically, how social media use is perceived in the home (Coyne et al., 2017; Procentese, Gatti, & Di Napoli, 2019).

Relational considerations

Social media provides a different avenue of communication compared to face-to-face communication. Physical interactions allow for the presence of bonding in combination with social cues, which are important for both understanding and relaying physical (e.g., understanding when someone may not want to be physically close) and verbal communication (e.g., realizing that someone may be mad, sad, or angry due to their tone) (Ehmke, 2020; Wright, 2021). Due to its accessibility and acceptability, social media can change family structure, changing the ways families interact and connect (Jordan, Hersey, McDivitt, & Heitzler, 2006; Hertlein, 2012). If left unchecked, it can disrupt family bonding, as family members may begin to ignore one another, an act known as “phubbing” (e.g., reading posts during a gathering or interrupting dinner to post a picture) (Bai, Bai, Dan, Lei, & Wang, 2020; Guazzini, Duradoni, Capelli, & Meringolo, 2019).

Though there appear to be negative effects of social media on the relationship between parents and teens, there are also benefits. Heimlich (2011) noted that two-thirds (67%) of social media users used sites such as Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn to stay connected, with family connectedness being the main reason for use. In recent times, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic where families have had to be separated, the integration of video into social media outlets and increase in digital platforms has escalated the use of social media as a means for families to interact and stay connected (Graham, 2020; Nguyen et al., 2020). Furthermore, social media can help parents and teens trust one another in their relationship by allowing parents to feel safe about their children’s well-being when allowed to check in on their teens verbally, physically, or even socially thanks to varying platforms (Palen, Palen, Hughes, & Hughes, 2007; Hiniker, Schoenebeck, & Kientz, 2016; Brooks, 2020).

Final thoughts

The therapist’s perception of social media is a major consideration when understanding the parent-teen relationship. Using social media as an example, if a therapist comes from a background where social media use is considered something “easily managed” or a “petty problem,” their views may carry over into therapy, which may disrupt care and or discourage parents and teens from pursuing the aid they so desperately need (Rober, 1999; Timm & Blow, 1999; Murphy & Hecker, 2016; Regas, 2019). Other factors can contribute to the effects of social media on the relationship between parents and their teens, such as culture, social class, and parenting strategies, but these topics far exceed the scope of discussion for this article. Overall, institutions, scholars, and organizations share similar recommendations on combating the negative effects of social media use on the parent-teen relationship. Recommendations include having open communications, mutual agreements, and education surrounding social media use and closely monitoring its effect on daily interactions. These approaches allow for the promotion and protection of the parent-teen relationship.

The authors recognize Drs. Carol Podgorski and Aubree Guiffre for their guidance during this project.

Christopher A. Chandroo, MS, is a Professional member of AAMFT and is in the Department of Psychiatry at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry. His research interests include sports and health psychology. After finishing his master’s degree in MFT at the University of Rochester School of Medicine and Dentistry, he is now pursing a doctorate in Clinical Psychology at Pacific University’s School of Graduate Psychology.

Tziporah Rosenberg, PhD, LMFT, is an AAMFT Professional member holding the Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor designations, and an associate professor in the Departments of Psychiatry and Family Medicine at the University of Rochester Medical Center, the Institute for the Family, and the Division of Collaborative Care within the Department of Psychiatry.

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