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The Boomer Generation and Myths about Aging

 

The 76 million babies that were born in the U.S. between 1946 and 1964 created an age-associated bulge in the population that has influenced the world around them since that time (Colby & Ortman, 2014). The “baby boomers,” as they are called, are currently making the transition to older adulthood, with between 8,000-10,000 turning 65 years of age daily! This trend will continue until the end of 2029 (U.S. Census, 2020). I have (JY) often told my students that if I wanted to be wealthy, I would start throwing 65th birthday parties for baby boomers!

Although older adults of previous generations have not generally been known to seek psychotherapy services in high numbers, the baby boom generation, who came of age in the 1960s and 1970s, have been more open to seeking mental health and relationship therapy (Mackenzie et al., 2008). Given that marriage and family therapists are likely seeing an increase in older clients come through their doors (or show up on their computer screens, as may be the case with the coronavirus pandemic), we would like to debunk three common myths about aging and older adults that might provide helpful guidance in working with clients of the boomer generation.


Myth: Mental illness increases in later life

Many people, including therapists, mistakenly think that mental health disorders increase in prevalence in later life. It is important to know that the extensive research clearly shows that the incidence of major depressive disorders decreases with age in adulthood (National Institutes of Mental Health, 2019). Stated in other words, a smaller percentage of older adults experience major depression, compared to younger adults. The same holds for other mental health challenges. Research shows that, in general, fewer older adults experience serious mental illness, compared to younger and middle-aged adults (Lutz & Van Orden, 2020).

SO20-F1 Boomer Myths - gardeningThere are a couple of caveats, though. Older adults often experience mild depressive symptoms due to various losses, which might include the loss of loved ones, the loss of health, and sometimes the loss of independence. However, the symptoms don’t rise to the level of meeting the standard of major depression. Another caveat is that older adults residing in long-term care facilities are at greater risk of experiencing major depression (Chau, Kissane, & Davison, 2019); however, at any given time, less than 5% of those over age 65 live in long-term care (Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, 2016).

It is also important for therapists to know that, despite the overall lower rates of major depression among older adults, they are at a greater risk for death by suicide. Indeed, according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (2018), middle-aged and older adults have the highest rates of death by suicide in the U.S.

Based on what extensive research tells us, it is a tragic inaccuracy for therapists to assume that higher rates of mental illness are a normal part of the aging process. It is not normal for an older person to be depressed or to suffer from other mental illnesses. Also, as is the case for other age groups, mental illness is very treatable among older adults.

An important exception is dementia, of which Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is the most common type. Older adults are at greater risk for developing dementia, compared to younger and middle-aged adults. While some normal changes in memory typically occur as we age (mostly linked to the speed of cognitive processing and to a decreased efficiency in working memory), developing dementia is not part of normal aging—and it is not inevitable. According to the Alzheimer’s Association (2019), only 3% of persons aged 65-74 have AD, while 17% of those 75-84, and 32% of those over 85 have AD. Because there is no cure for AD, with a prognosis of eventual death, many older adults are fearful that they might develop dementia and might even “self diagnose” dementia when they are only experiencing normal age-related cognitive changes. Thus, therapists need to be sensitive to older clients’ fears of developing dementia and be quick to refer clients for evaluation if there are any symptoms of abnormal memory deficits.   

Myth: Midlife crisis is a common experience

One of the great myths in the aging process is the midlife crisis. Western culture has the idea that most people, especially men, reach a point during the middle years when they become aware of their aging bodies, unfulfilled dreams, and a clock that is steadily ticking towards death. As a response, they frantically attempt to recapture their youth, and, in the process, trade in their four-door sedan for a fancy sports car, their TV remote control for a gym membership, and their middle-age spouse for a younger, sexier partner.

The truth is that the phenomenon of midlife crises is relatively uncommon. There are a few people who experience a full-blown crisis in midlife, but they seem to receive a lot of attention, especially among Hollywood screenwriters, thus perpetuating the myth of the midlife crisis. However, social scientists have found that only about 10% of midlife adults experience a crisis (Brim, 1992). Instead of finding evidence of a midlife crisis with its accompanying extramarital affairs, for example, research indicates that the likelihood of having an extramarital affair is highest during the early years of marriage, not the middle years (Olson, Russell, Higgins-Kessler, & Miller, 2002).

Research suggests that most middle-aged adults have life experiences that cause them to pause for a moment and reevaluate their lives. A health crisis, death of a parent, being passed over for a promotion at work, and adolescent or young adult children choosing to pursue an unhealthy path in life may trigger some deep introspection, where we reevaluate our life goals and the dreams that we have spent 20-30 years pursuing (Wethington, 2000).    

As a result of this period of reevaluation, midlife adults often find that their values have changed, and that what they once valued as important is really not as salient in their lives (Freund & Ritter, 2009). Although they probably increasingly recognize the importance of good health and often set new goals to improve their nutrition and increase their exercise activity, they may also realize that their physical appearance and accumulation of financial assets are less important than spending time with their children and working to relieve the suffering and injustices that plague our communities and world. Indeed, the Ericksonian notion of generativity becomes more important. Consequently, research indicates that, while it is true that most people make changes in midlife, it is rarely a “Hollywood style” crisis that seeks to meet narcissistic needs; rather, it is usually a mid-course correction that points them in the direction of more mature goals and values.

Myth: Couples experience crisis with an empty nest and/or the transition to retirement

Transitions are known to cause disequilibrium and often morphogenesis in families. For this reason, it is tempting to want to believe that launching young adult children from the nest or making the transition to retirement will cause marital satisfaction to decrease significantly. For example, the widespread notion of the “Empty Nest Syndrome” suggests that couples struggle after their last child leaves home. However, research indicates that very few couples experience a decline in marital satisfaction when they no longer have children at home (Miller, 2000). Most couples experience stability in marital satisfaction during the transition of launching children; happy couples remain happy, and unhappy couples remain unhappy. Some couples even report increased marital satisfaction because the partners enjoy spending more time together (Gorchoff, John, & Helson, 2008). Thus, the “Empty Nest Syndrome” simply isn’t true for the vast majority of couples.

SO20-F1 Boomer Myths - coupeThe same pattern has been found to apply to couples who go through the significant transition of retirement. Although a couple’s day-to-day routines change when both partners are now home all day, research shows that their level of marital satisfaction usually stays the same from pre-retirement to post-retirement (VanLaningham, Johnson, & Amato, 2001). Unhappy couples stay unhappy, and happy couples stay happy. There is actually some research evidence that the pre-retirement level of marital satisfaction intensifies after retirement (Miller & Yorgason, 2009). When you think about it, this makes sense because couples who really enjoy each other will be able to spend more time together, and couples who easily get on each other’s nerves will have more time together to get irritated with each other. To be sure, there are adjustments that come with the change of routine that is brought about by retirement, but couples’ level of marital satisfaction usually remains stable.   

These myth-busting research findings are consistent with systems theory’s concept of homeostasis (Miller, 2000). Although couples experience many changes throughout the course of the relationship, including launching children and retiring, their basic “relationship dance” doesn’t change. How they communicate with each other generally doesn’t change, how they resolve conflict generally doesn’t change, and how they nurture their relationship generally doesn’t change. Although circumstances change throughout the early, middle, and later years of marriage, the marital dance of how they interact and treat each other stays remarkably unchanged. What we learned in our graduate family systems class about homeostasis is really true!

As the boomer generation moves from mid-life to their later years, let’s be informed clinicians who don’t perpetuate inaccurate myths about the aging process or later life relationships. Instead, as older adult clients seek our help, let us become educated through reputable sources so that our helping is indeed helpful.

Jeremy B. Yorgason

Jeremy B. Yorgason, PhD, is professor, School of Family Life, and director of the Gerontology Program at Brigham Young University. Yorgason is an AAMFT Clinical Fellow and Approved Supervisor.

Richard B. Miller

Richard B. Miller, PhD, is chair of the Sociology Department and professor at Brigham Young University. He is an AAMFT Clinical Fellow.


REFERENCES

Alzheimer’s Association. (2019). Alzheimer’s disease facts and figures. Alzheimers Dementia, 15, 321-87.

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. (2018). Suicide statistics. Retrieved from https://afsp.org/suicide-statistics

Brim, O. G. (1992). Ambition. New York: Basic Books.

Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (2016). Nursing home data compendium 2015. Retrieved from: https://www.cms.gov/Medicare/Provider-Enrollment-and-Certification/CertificationandComplianc/Downloads/nursinghomedatacompendium_508-2015.pdf

Chau, R., Kissane, D. W., & Davison, T. E. (2019). Risk factors for depression in long-term care: A systematic review. Clinical Gerontologist: The Journal of Aging and Mental Health, 42(3), 224–237. https://doi-org.erl.lib.byu.edu/10.1080/07317115.2018.1490371

Colby, S. L., & Ortman, J. M. (2014). The baby boom cohort in the United States: 2012 to 2060. Current Population Reports, 25-1141. Washington, DC: U.S. Census Bureau.

Freund, A. M., & Ritter, J. O. (2009). Midlife crisis: A debate. Gerontology, 55, 582-591.

Gorchoff, S. M., John, O. P., & Helson, R. (2008). Contextualizing change in marital satisfaction during middle age: An 18-year longitudinal study. Psychological Science, 19, 1194-1200.

Lutz, J., & Van Orden, K. (2020). Sadness and worry in older adults: Differentiating psychiatric illness from normative distress. Geriatrics, 104, 843-854.

Mackenzie, S., Scott, T., Mather, A., Sareen, J. (2008). Older adults’ help-seeking attitudes and treatment beliefs concerning mental health problems. The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 16(12), 1010-1019.

Miller, R.B. (2000). Misconceptions about the U-shaped curve of marital satisfaction over the life course.  Family Science Review, 13, 60-73.

Miller, R. B., & Yorgason, J. B. (2009). The interaction between marital relationships and retirement. In D. R. Crane & E. J. Hill (Eds.) Handbook of families and work (pp. 392-408). New York: University Press of America.

National Institutes of Mental Health (2019). Major Depression among older adults. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/major-depression.shtml 

Olson, M. M., Russell, C. S., Higgins-Kessler, M., & Miller, R. B. (2002). Emotional processes following disclosure of an extramarital affair. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 28, 423-434.

U.S. Census. (2020). 2020 Census will help policymakers prepare for the incoming wave of aging boomers. Retrieved from: https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2019/12/by-2030-all-baby-boomers-will-be-age-65-or-older.html#:~:text=Born%20after%20World%20War%20II,be%20at%20least%20age%2065

VanLaningham, J., Johnson, D. R. & Amato, P. (2001). Marital happiness, marital duration, and the U-shaped curve: Evidence from a five-wave panel study. Social Forces, 78(4), 1313-1341.

Wethington, E. (2000). Expecting stress: Americans and the “midlife crisis.” Motivation and Emotion, 24, 85-103.


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Zarit, S. H., & Zarit, J. M. (2007). Mental disorders in older adults (2nd Ed). New York: Guilford Press.

Piercy, S. (2010). Working with aging families. New York: W.W. Norton & Company, Inc.

Lambert-Shute, J., & Fruhauf, C. A. (2011). Aging issues: Unanswered questions in marital and family therapy literature. Journal of Marital & Family Therapy, 37(1), 27–36. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1752-0606.2009.00152.x

Heller, T., Gibbons, H. M., & Fisher, D. (2015). Caregiving and family support interventions: Crossing networks of aging and developmental disabilities. Intellectual & Developmental Disabilities, 53(5), 329–345. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1352/1934-9556-53.5.329

Muruthi, B., McCoy, M., Chou, J., & Farnham, A. (2018). Sexual scripts and narrative therapy with older couples. American Journal of Family Therapy, 46(1), 81-95. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2018.1428129

Webster, T. N., Yorgason, J. B., Maag-Winter, A., Clifford, C., Baxter, K., & Thompson, D. (2016). Mental health concerns of older adults living in long-term care facilities: An area of expansion for MFTs. American Journal of Family Therapy, 44(5), 272-284. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2016.1214088 

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